the murtaugh list.

After laughing, quite hysterically, at one of my new favorite episodes of "How I Met Your Mother" (which, by far, is one of the funniest shows on TV), I decided to develop a "Murtaugh List." This list is derived from the movie "Lethal Weapon", where Danny Glover's character, Murtaugh, regularly says: "I'm too old for this 'stuff.'" He does not say stuff, but I'm a lady, so I do not use that word :)

Things I'm too old for:

1. Staying out/up until 4 in the morning. Big yikes. I did that last week and thought I was going to need Red Bulls to stay awake. . . Which brings me to my 2nd point:

2. Any energy drink in any form. Red Bull is the devil. I'm pretty sure of it. Nothing good has EVER happened when I have had a Red Bull. Be it by itself or with an adult beverage, mark my words: NOTHING good ever comes from this.

3. Screaming whenever I see on of my girlfriends after a long period of separation. I don't think I ever did this, but I want to cover my bases.

4. Bashing ex's. Now, I know this seems the very trendy thing to do, especially when you have Taylor Swift making fun of her 20 second break-up phone call with a particular Jonas Brother, but she is 18. I am 22. I'm done. It's not classy and it only makes you more mad (But I am not above junk punching for justifiable reasons. . .)

5. Procrastinating homework/papers/assignments. The longer you're in college, the better at B.S.-ing you get. Terrible, but so true. I have mountains of useless knowledge that would make excellent padding for many papers. However, the longer you're in college, the harder your assignments become. Waiting until the night before = not cool. Because if you wait until the night before, you will be staying up incredibly late, which only brings us back to the first two articles described in this list.

6. Graphic t-shirts. I don't care if you like Tweety Bird/The Seven Dwarves/American Eagle clothing. I do not care if you think you're Tasty/Luscious/Tart & Smart. We're adults. Let's dress like it. And your clothes should not be a sandwich board advertising your self-perceived personality. Thanks.

7. Sweatpants with any writing on them. Victoria's Secret has enabled my entire generation to think it's okay for the word "PINK" to be emboldened across their derriere. Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not okay. And don't you dare tuck those pants into your snow boots.

8. Jumping on a trampoline. After 5 minutes of jumping, lactic acid began pulsing through my quads and I felt like hurling. Then again, the turkey leg the size of my head might have had something to do with it. . . Details.

Things I'm not too old for:

1. Coloring books

2. Children's books. . . Nothing beats reading "Corduroy" or "The Story of Ferdinand" or "The Very Quiet Cricket" or "Good Night Moon". . . This list could go on.

3. Laughing so hard I cry.

4. Swing sets

5. Going barefoot in grass

6. Feeding ducks. . . And naming all of the ducks :)

7. Telling Laffy Taffy jokes.

8. Flying kites.